socialism:
You have two cows. Give one to your neighbour.
communism:
You have two cows.
Give both to the government. The government gives you milk.
capitalism:
You have two cows. You sell one cow and buy a bull.
fascism:
You have two cows. Give milk to the government.
The government sells it.
nazism:
You have two cows. The government shoots you and takes the cows.
New Dealism:
You have two cows. The government shoots one cow,
milks the other, and pours the milk down the sink.
anarchism:
You have two cows. Keep them. Steal another. Shoot the government.
conservatism:
You have two cows. Freeze the milk. Embalm the cows.