A Very Funny Chat – Warning: Adult Themes

I love the people I chat with on Skype. Most are irreverent and simply don’t take life too seriously. Well, actually they take a small bit of life ¬†very seriously.

It was my friend Tommy’s birthday and I skyped him to wish him well (to be honest I was prompted by Skype – a feature I have loved forever!).
You may know him from such twitter profiles as @kode4food – where he plays a grouchy, irreverent developer/maker.

Here is the transcript. Hope you cry laughing ūüėČ



It’s Tommy’s birthday today
Forgot the birthday card? We can help – send them a Skype Gift Card instead.

Me 10:27
Hapy Birfday to you, Happy Birfday to you, Happy Birfday dear Tommy, Happy Birfday to you. Hip Hip Surgery!

Tommy 10:35
haha thanks!

Me 11:40
What you got planned?

Tommy 12:17
well.. my wife (soon to be) bought me a nice tobacco pipe.. I figured I’d smoke that a little bit, then have some indian food, then come back and smoke a little more. it’s a bit rainy today, so not much else can be done

I figure now that i’m 41 and I’ve spent most of my life playing it safe, it’s time to throw caution to the wind and start smoking

Me 12:19
dude – thats is stupid idea

Tommy 12:19
not like I’ll be a chain smoker,¬†
it’s a fucking pipe after all

Me 12:19
dude – its a fucking filthy habit

Tommy 12:19
I’m a filthy filthy man

Me 12:20
you always think its cool, but its filthy
its like walking around with dried turd on your underpants filthy

not 90 year old man fucking a 21 year old hottie filthy

Tommy 12:20

Me 12:20
easy to confuse I know

Tommy 12:21
who says I don’t already walk around with dried turd in my shorts?

Me 12:21
but your clothes will stink like an ashtray and
 your wife (soon to be) will stop kissing you

I swear

Tommy 12:21
nah, she won’t

Me 12:21
and your pseudo kids will learn that you don’t respect yourself, not really

and will subliminally not respect you, all because papa hittin the old man pipe

Tommy 12:22
I think they already know that
god, if they only knew me in my twenties

Me 12:23
you will be such a conformist when you smoke this, you will join the ranks of the can’t think for themselves

Tommy 12:23
I smoked weed like a chimney from the time I got home til the time I went to bed

Me 12:24
weed is an exception when you have brain cells to burn, dude you are on a downward spiral now re: brain cells

Tommy 12:24
comformists smoke pipes?

Me 12:24
you need the ones you have to help you keep from being incontinent and drooling uncontrollably
a 41 year old who can’t control his own bowel movements, well that is just wrong.

yes Рconformists smoke pipes. , fucking conformists

Tommy 12:24
too late!

Me 12:25

Tommy 12:25
honestly, I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone smoke a pipe… like ever

Me 12:25
dude – clearly you are hellbent on doing this
so do it

Tommy 12:26
I tried cigars, but they’re a pain in the ass

Me 12:26
and then stop doing it
BTW you’re not supposed to smoke cigars with your ass¬†
(it is a great party trick though)

I once saw this woman in Bangkok smoke a cigar with her pussy
somethings you can’t unsee.

I’m going to put this conversation on my blog by the way

it is fucking class.
I will change names to protect the innocent.

Tommy 14:55
then you don’t even want to know about my heroin overdose suicide pact
I think I’d like to see the Bangkok trick
just to say I saw it
yes, please do
Samsung says I should buy a Galaxy Note 10 for Mom
what’s the address of this here blog you’re gonna write?

Me 14:59
i will post the link once I have it – it’s one of those cheap market tricks where you don;t get to see what you;re buying. I always wanted to pull one of those scams, so now I will. With a blog post (how fucking lame!)

I hope you enjoyed it for the crass, uncensored but thoroughly hilarious skit it is. ¬†If not, thanks for dropping by – you might want to check out Prudes Anonymous while you’re about.

May 10 – My Keel Is Evening Out


Really challenging day, huge range of emotions but perhaps necessary.  Mostly I am:

  • Glad my routine is settling down and more that I am really enjoying it.
  • Glad I got feedback from my friend and ServiceChat early adopter on my landing page. It was awesome feedback and the mods really enhanced it.
  • Sad that I had a deep disappointment with a relationship that I thought was stronger than it actually is.
  • Glad that I was like a ninja on some tech challenges I got stuck on. I gave the solutions time to find me

I’m grateful for the ability to be irreverent.

I’m very In.



The main goal today is to get the chat working again since I broke something! The tests need to go green before I move on to the other big elephant in the room – my explainer video.

I also will put together a mind map of options for funding from October (or sooner!) that I can discuss with my advisers.

The Trello board…


May 9 – Too Far Down The Road Less Travelled


What an intense day Рbut pleasantly so.  Mostly I am:

  • Glad I successfully executed my new routine. I had a 17 hour fast, did 1.5 hours of language study (and it was huge fun) and 8 hours of work on the startup and over an hour of wellness throughout the day – YAY!
  • Glad I realised that my beta is not my MVP before I spent even more time on it.
  • Mad at how much time I had already spent on the beta vs the MVP
  • Sad that I don’t have a co-founder who was immediately accessible so we could decide what to do – keep doing the beta (it’s close) or stop and release the MVP now!
  • Glad I got over that and decided.

I’m grateful that I have the opportunity to experiment to take risks, fail and learn. I realise that many in the world of work do not readily claim this fundamental right.

I’m In.



The decision about the beta vs MVP is to get the MVP out today and then get back to get the beta ready for next week. ¬†This is options gaming really – buying myself the option of more time on the beta whilst still having something out that folk can be using. Of course this means that once my MVP is out, I can also resume the validation of my marketing strategy, so maybe I won’t have all the time I thought I would have on the beta.

I need to get out of the building.

I want to have the idea validated ASAP not the app and the MVP should get me on that route.

So the big push is around the explainer video of some description and getting feedback on what I have in place for the landing the page (the wording mostly).

The Trello board…


May 7 (and 8th) – Plan : Replan, Replay


Revised Bigger, Bigger Picture


A Note on Yesterday

In lieu of a retro for yesterday (May 6th), which I did not write because it was late, I was tired and intended to do it this morning but unexpectedly had to make an airport run. That is my story and I shall be sticking with it.

The app is not in production yet, as I was walking through the MVP flow, I realised I had missed an important piece! ¬†People can sign up, but they can’t sign in.

They need to sign in to manage the authorised chat hosts.  That single piece suddenly became both urgent and important!

I’m glad I have ‘sign in’ now in place and I can get back to what I was supposed to be doing. ¬†I’m in, all the same.


I awoke feeling rather depressed.  Whilst I had my Startup and Wellness working well , the third element of my focus РLearning Spanish Рwas being neglected.

This called for a revision of the bigger, bigger picture. I thought long and hard about what my focus elements I have and what outcomes I want. Planning is fun, the plan less important.

Voila! I have a revised plan that leverages what has been working for me over the last weeks and helps me do all the things I want to focus on. Namely, building Spanish into my iterations (which previously only hard startup work and then a 10 minute HIIT workout).

So…my main goal is to start this new routine, follow the plan and adapt.¬†

The tasks for the startup are still the same – get the app into production, explore an early draft of my explainer video and talk to early beta users.

The Trello board…

Trello board for 8th May 2013

Trello board for 8th May 2013

Another Change

On reflection, two blogs on the same day is proving a little cumbersome and the result is neither is done well nor timely.  I have thought about this and will experiment with a single post again, this time in the morning.

I seem to do my main retro in the morning anyway and this impacts my planning too. So it makes sense that I just do the morning post with a concise retrospective (complete with the benefits of a night’s rest) and my daily plan. Let see how consistently that will happen. I’m excited!

May 6 – Plan: Prepare to Board


ServiceChat Trello for May 6th


I went rogue on Friday(3rd) and Sunday (5th). There was a plan but it wasn’t visible, so I apologise to my #happytohelpers.

The codebase is looking sweet and I have gotten a huge amount done in such a short time. I think I have enough to show early customers and get feedback for the next corner.

The main goal today is get what I have in development out to my production server and in readiness for some early adopters using it by the middle of this week.

Once I get the app in place today, I will work on the explainer video (at least the first draft). I have thought long and hard about the explainer video and I could probably do away with it for the MVP, but there is a huge amount of learning it can give for the blog content ideas I have – which are ongoing important tasks anyway.

I will also continue my marketing exploration ¬†(in my in-between time) of paid advertising on Linked (I have a voucher that expires tomorrow, I don’t want that option to expire!).


May 3 – Retro: Traction.

Check In

  • I’m sad I didn’t write my plan on friday (May 3rd and a retro for that day). Slow progress meant not much had changed at the level I was tracking on my board.
  • I’m glad that on Sunday , May 5th I worked deeply and intelligently and achieved a huge amount.
  • Glad that I should be able to get early adopters using ServiceChat around the middle (Wednesday/Thursday) this week
  • Excited to be trying Intermittent Fasting as part of my wellness focus.
  • Glad to be have created my startup storymaps, felt I was losing sight of the big picture!
  • Glad that this last weekend was one of the best we have had as a family – sheer bliss.

I’m excited. I’m In.¬†

Achievements Since Last Retro

  • Approved hosts working lovely
  • Autoresponder for non-signed up usage and non-active usage in place.
  • Email on signup complete – need to work on the text of emails – will test with early adopters
  • Updated my Startup Storymaps – this, with my marketing maps and business model canvas gives a great overview of what I intend to do, when and towards what outcomes. (might blog about it)

How The Trello Board Now Looks


ServiceChatTrello Board – 6/May

…and the The Story Map


ServiceChat Storymap

I Learned…

I Loved…

Catching up on some reading last night, having a late snooze and then coding till 4AM!

I’m Grateful For…

Reality. It is often less scary than the delusions I sometimes conjure.

May 2 – Retro: Ongoing…

Check In

  • I’m glad I’m making progress, it’s slow and with plenty of emergence, but it’s progress.
  • Glad that I’m learning and having fun doing this.
  • Mad that every 10 steps forward I discover 100 more miles to go!
  • Glad that I will have the approved chat hosts functionality in place, it’s so close I can smell its perfume.

I’m anxious. I’m In.¬†

Achievements Since Last Retro

  • Incorporated plans and accounts
  • Explored Hootsuite apps as a possible partner channel. They have 6 million users, I have 367 (from ChittyChat!).
  • I updated my fiddle with some revised pricing. It is still unvalidated with a customer (hoping that happens next week).

How The Trello Board Now Looks

It is fundamentally unchanged.

I Learned…

  • Messing with CSS and style takes time. Thankfully I work in 59/10 which means I review my work every hour to see if I should still be doing it.
  • That we can regrow lost forests with a commendable attempt at preserving diversity!

I Loved…

Sitting in the sunshine for a whole hour – with coffee, code and music. Even the wasps were friendly.

I’m Grateful For…

All the options for marketing, partnership and support that have emerged and are emerging.

May 2 – Plan: Stitch 'er up, I'm done!


Yesterday was surgery, I took the codebase around the chat room requesting apart and cut out a lot of crappy code.  In the last week I have replaced lots of old tech and upgraded many of the gems that are the foundation of ServiceChat (especially mongoid, Rails and Tweetstream) and refactored all the supporting apps (Tron and Blabby).

That is a lot to happen to a codebase and now it is time to heal and get some feedback.  Healing for me is  about taking out spurious code, some minor refactoring etc.  With tests passing and all good functionally, I need to tidy up, remove debug comments and the like.

The main goal today is to get the end to end with pre-approved hosts being able to request chats. All the pieces are there and the tie up should not be too cumbersome.

Looking forward to releasing this beast into the wild.

I will also continue my marketing exploration ¬†(in my in-between time) of paid advertising on Linked (I have a voucher that expires tomorrow, I don’t want that option to expire!).


May 1 – Retro : Pulled a Train

By: Kecko

Check In

  • I’m sad I got mad with Katharine, it was a silly trivial thing that didn’t need to happen.
  • Glad that we talked about it and made good.
  • Glad that the surge of effort (I worked pretty late) to crack the twitter request functions of ServiceChat was successful
  • Glad I decided to use sferik’s twitter gem as readymade classes, saved me a whole lot of hair pulling!

I’m tired but content. I’m In.¬†

Achievements Since Last Retro

  • Completed major refactor of chat provisioning from twitter

How The Trello Board Now Looks

I Learned…

  • My plan for was hugely over-ambitious.
  • Capistrano can be a muthafucka!

I Loved…

Riding the wave of options that emerged by using the Twitter gem, working with (rather than against) the design that emerged was a total delight.

I’m Grateful For…

The open source community – I’m hugely proud of this community that I am a small part of, the sharing of ideas and the acceptance of each other’s abilities (or lack thereof).

May 1 – Plan : Full of Promise.

Trello after planning on 01/May


The main push today is to get ServiceChat hosts being able to request from Twitter. This is currently the biggest differentiator from other products out there.  It is the simplest, fastest and most unobtrusive mechanism I have seen.   it just works (well at least it did in ChittyChat!).

I’m going to start by running all the tests and making them pass, then comes the tricky bit.

ServiceChat has a modified model (based on billable customers and approved hosts) and this needs to be injected into the design. So I’ll have to write tests for them too.

But!! ¬† Today is the first day in a 3-day fiesta in Pinos del Valle and I’m taking an extended lunch to participate in the diversi√≥nes!